Dating an engineer? Read the manual first!
There’s a modern legend about a couple going to therapy. After a lot of sessions that seemed to be going nowhere, the wife mentioned that her husband was an engineer. The therapist started to laugh and asked: “Now didn’t you say that in the first place?”
While we love their restless minds and logical approach to everything, there are a few things you need to know about how engineers wheels are turning when it comes to relationships. Check out our cheatsheet:
This is how a lot of men think, especially engineers since they usually have a protocol or script for everything that might happen: “If this, then that” and they just replace the variables: “If she gets angry, then I bring flowers”.
How to make this work for you? Be specific when you want something and how you want it done. Subtlety is an unknown factor they will not include in their approach.
While it’s perfect to have a handy guy around the house, fixing things better than your dad, it can be a turn off in an argument. He is always going to try to fix your sorrow instead of listening to you, being focused on the future solutions.
Pro: they’re usually right
Con: it can be far from your emotional need in that moment
How to make this work for you? Know that this is how he works. Keep in mind that this is his way of helping and all the strategic solutions come from good intentions, even if he is starting to multiply and divide your crying patterns.
Everything needs to have a logical argument underneath if you want him to understand where you’re coming from. Ignoring this will do no good.
How to make this work for you? Instead of getting upset that he’s not listening or paying attention, try to think of a better way to present your wishes in a way that makes sense to him. He might not be hearing impaired, just saying!