10 things every guy should do on first date
First dates are just like ordering at a new Indian restaurant not knowing exactly how much spice you’re going to get or if you’ll ever go there again.
It can get really messy or super delicious if you know what I mean, but you still have to try it, especially since you made reservations a while ago.
Since most guys don’t have a clue of what women expect in general, I’m barely tapping the ground talking about a first date and trying to close the gap just a bit between the two species with 10 things all guys should do on a first date in order to stand a chance.
This info is exclusively catered to men who are genuinely interested in making a good impression, who are actually interested in the one they are about to take out & want to know her better and build something nice together, right from the start.
Guys, I’m telling you, we really want you to blow our minds from the very first moment, so you’d better listen up! We are on your side! This being said, if you’re just into getting lucky, there are tons of other articles for this niche way better or even easier, just try one-night stands, there’s something for everyone!
Ok, so, back to our troops that understand that this is really happening, this is not a drill, I repeat, this is not a drill!
Congrats, you already did the hard part, asking her out, and if she said YES, you probably did it right (either that or you wore her down by now with invitations, but you’re still ahead!)
Finally, the ball in your court, especially if you wanted to ask her out for quite some time, so make everything count and work for you, and not against! This is a compiled and simplistic list of the 10 things all guys should do on a first date; remember, we are just covering the basics here, good luck, guys!
- Dress normally
By dressing normally, I do mean normal for going out, not for your best friend’s bbq. Here’s more, if needed: smart casual if you fancy a clear direction in this area. No slippers, no high socks, or men sandals – EVER!
Don’t mistake a date with a night of clubbing, or a business event. Keep in mind that the 80’s are over, so nothing flashy – please! Try to be relaxed, comfy, but pay attention to your looks & grooming. You expect her to dress in a nice way, right? Why not do the same? She will like the new you, the out of the office look, the manly put together guy coming her way.
You actually want her to see you as more than a friend or a colleague, but, at the same time, she still needs to know it’s you! Don’t try too hard, but give it some thought and a second look before leaving the house.
2. Pick her up
I know this might be difficult in some cases, but it’s a very nice touch. It says that you are a gentlemen, you care and literally go the extra mile for this. If you think of it, you meet your friends at the bar, and you don’t want her to make this association in her kind & friendzone you instantly, right?
The first date sets the tone for the future dynamic between the both of you, so make an effort! If you don’t have a car, but live close by, try to still make this work for you and pick her up from the house. If, for some reason, you decide it’s best to meet her downtown, at the restaurant or cinema, be the first one there and if you by chance you are late, please have a funny story for that!
3. Think ahead
We all grew up with the dinner & movie classic routine, but could we spice things up a bit? I’m not saying it’s wrong, on the contrary, but since you actually went through all that trouble to get her number & take her out, do you really want the happy ending of the movie to be the highlight of the night? Plus, you can’t really exchange more than a couple of words during the actual movie, so you get nothing out of it on a first date.
Just think of it, no matter if you choose a “romantic comedy” or an “action blockbuster”, the lead guy is always way hotter, doing all sort of romantic out of this world gestures for his girl, so you’re actually no match when compared to the big screen. That guy is missing a limb and still manages to catch a firefly for the gal, remembering to bring milk home and flowers for their anniversary, while saving the world and her pet chihuahua…all you just did was buy her popcorn. I know it sounds stupid, but it’s all about perspective
4. Make it personal
I’m talking venue, time & date, hour, weather, activities.
If she’s outdoorsy, think of a nice place to talk a walk/hike or have a picnic together. Go somewhere just for the view, take her out for a drive and stop somewhere nice to eat along the way. Is she into books? Check out that new bookstore on your way to grab a coffee. You both are into adventure? An amusement park could do the trick. Are you an impressive cook? How about you dazzle her with that. Want to create an instant bond? Take her to a place that means something for you: your fav candy shop when you were a kid, that old record store, it can be anything as long as you’re letting her in on a part of your history or passion.
We’re expecting something of you since you went through all the trouble to take us out, so now is your chance. You can’t imagine how fast our interest drops when we’ve finally said yes to an invitation, and the guy’s only words are: “oooh, I don’t know, where do you wanna go?”
One of the greatest examples to learn for is the dates on “Age of Adaline” when the lead characters take one another “some place they’ve never been before” – 2 things here:
– Yes, women expect romantic cinema like gestures.
– Imagine starting your invitation with this kind of incentive? 90% of all women would say yes immediately & agree to go out with you!
5. Announce your intentions
Mind readers are not that common, so if you do plan something special, let the girl know. Don’t ruin the surprise, but tell her to dress accordingly with the activity, because she won’t enjoy the hike you joyfully planned in 15 cm heels.
Plus, girls are highly sensitive to weather, so be prepared to have an extra hoodie or blanket for outdoor activities, she will be so grateful you saved the day!
6. Open doors
Yes, that is right! We want this, from now on! It makes us feel special, it’s a clear statement that we are there with you, at the restaurant, at the party, etc. Old school manners will go a long way especially if the girl goes home feeling spoiled, and she doesn’t actually can put the finger on it, it was just the overall experience.
7. Offer to pay
This is a major bone of contention & I am not trying in any way, shape or form trying to set double standards and strip your dates of the independent woman qualities I know you admire.
I said offer to pay since you were the one with the initiative & interest. If things go well, you’ll have plenty of time to let her take the lead sometimes, split the bill, share a mortgage. Until then, make your intentions clear & pick up the check without making a big deal out of it.
8. Extra touch
This is mostly for the case in which you’ve been chasing after this date for a while and you want to make an impression, yet it’s nice to have in every case if you ask me. Bring something cute/flowers/candy/carrots, a bag of treats for her pet, it can be anything as long as it’s small & thoughtful. It’s a great way to awe her right from the start and to break the ice in terms of conversation.
9. Pay attention
This reality inspired advice is also the main hook in a little movie known as “Hitch” and Will Smith explains it perfectly: listen to what your date is talking about, so when she asks you what do you think, you have a better answer than “you have lovely eyes”. Women need to feel that you care, that you can listen to her & her problems, that you actually are there for more than just her looks
10. Be yourself
At the end of the day, all everyone wants is to feel comfortable being themselves and having a great time together. This being said, please don’t come off as someone else, just to impress the girl, saying, or doing things that are not a reflection of who you are. The major danger is that we will believe that what we see is what we get, trust that this is how you naturally are and expect that from now on. If you were only performing an act in order to get the girl, you’ll end up with a gravely unsatisfied woman, always waiting for that “other” guy to show up. Nobody can fake it forever and there is no use wasting our time. Be yourself, pay attention & have a good time.